


Stranded

by Gottllieb



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Multi, Slow Build, but it's certainly all about lapis, didn't decide on the rating yet either, didn't decide which ship is the main one yet, redemption fic, sort of, what are decisions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-03
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-04-12 17:10:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4487886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gottllieb/pseuds/Gottllieb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lapis tries to adapt to life on Earth, but it's not easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, and there's lots of narration going on, but I hope it's. Readable? please let me know o(--

Lapis had gotten used to life with the crystal gems. Or well, not used to it, but she was just... tired. She struggled so much, and thought she was so free and powerful, flying away from her abusers... But she crashed back down into that same beach, and then dragged herself all the way to the bottom of the ocean, so you could say she ended up even lower than when she was a captive of the 'good guys'. There wasn't any fight left in her, and they knew that, as well. They never quite 'captured' her. She was not stuck inside some bubble. No, she was allowed to walk around the house, and even wander around the beach, unsupervised. If she took too long to come back, someone would come get her, but even then, it was never forcefully.  
  
Malachite had left her scarred and hopeless, and in a way, maybe the crystal gems had some sympathy for Lapis. Not that she even cared for their sympathy, at this point. They should have had sympathy when she was broken and miserable and bound like some animal. Used like a tool. Maybe if she had left Earth long, long ago, she could have gotten used to the ways of Homeworld. Then she would have a home.  
  
Sometimes, Steven would make her smile. They would often walk by the beach, and he'd excitedly talk about one of his interests. The boy was precious, and innocent, and optimistic, even with so many terrible things happening around him. She wished she had the same strength to keep going as he had - but then again, he was still so young.  
  
In the last few days, the crystal gems had left Steven under her care, as they searched for Peridot, and now, Jasper. She had been living with them for months, and though she had no love for the trio, she had very strong feelings towards the boy. Now and then, one of them would pop back through the warp pad to check on the two, but only one at a time. They suspected once Jasper joined Peridot, the two would have better chances at leaving the planet.  
  
Lapis didn't care to join in their strategy to capture the two, and they did not have the nerve to force her any further. So, taking care of Steven was the only thing they would do for them. For Steven, actually.  
  
" Hey, Lapis! "  
  
Lapis was looking out the window, staring at the ocean, when the boy came over to her, a bright smile on his face. He often interrupted when she got caught in one of her longing stares moments. Maybe because he was worried for her. Probably because of that. The boy did worry an awful lot about the happiness of the gems around him.  
  
" Yes? "  
  
She smiled, one that did not match his in size at all, but certainly in honesty.  
  
" Crying Breakfast Friends is on! Wanna come watch it with me? "  
  
" Sure. Go up there and fluff the pillows for us? "  
  
She did not have the willpower to sound very excited about things these days, but she did try, for him. He seemed to get a little upset whenever he saw her down. He smiled, and hurried up to his bed, where they usually sat and watched his silly cartoons. He did fluff the pillows, which was sweet. She smiled, following him up to his room.  
  
They sat there and watched his crying friends until Steven fell asleep on the bed, in an awkward position that meant he did not feel that nap coming at all. As she pulled him gently in a more appropriate position, so he wouldn't wake up sore the next day, she looked out the window. The stars did not offer her any wisdom. As she watched over Steven's sleep, the stars only made her remember the brief time she spent in Homeworld, almost an year ago. The memories made her sad. Most things did, these days.  
  
When the crystal gems returned from their gem hunt, Steven was asleep, and Lapis wasn't very much present herself, even if awake. There was some whispering down by the pad, some arguing, but Lapis didn't pay attention to it. They argued all the time, specially when they failed. There was some stepping around, before Pearl came up to check on the two.  
  
While all the crystal gems were uncomfortable with Lapis there, Pearl seemed to be the most. They all remembered the war, but she seemed to cling to these memories more than any other. And Lapis wasn't in the right side in that war. She wasn't being nice then. No one was. Some less than others. Just the fact that Lapis was in the other side of things must have been the reason Pearl was so reluctant to accept her now. It's what Lapis thought, anyway.  
  
" What time did he sleep? He should sleep at his bedtime, you know that. "  
  
" I do know that. "  
  
What sense does it make to regulate the child's sleep like that? It's not like he had problems sleeping whenever he wishes. Lapis looked up at Pearl, and saw that she wasn't only giving her a hard time for no reason. In fact, she seemed fidgety, looking down at Steven, with his head on Lapis' head. Pearl, once again, more than the others, was not glad about Steven taking a liking to Lapis. That was something she could not hide, but she did attempt.  
  
" There's something we must... Talk about. "  
  
No one was very comfortable at that. But, if they must. Lapis was quiet, and Pearl decided to go on.  
  
" We managed to capture Peridot. And we may have found a way to locate Jasper. "  
  
Lapis frowned. She did not wish to know, at least, not at this moment. And it was unlike them to let Lapis know about so much, so openly.  
  
" I see. "  
  
Was Pearl under the impression Lapis sought some sort of revenge? Because she didn't get any kind of satisfaction from hearing that. She wouldn't mind if Jasper and Peridot suffered some, but then again, she felt the same way about the crystal gems. All sides of this stupid war were horrible. Even now, that it's supposed to be over, sort of, there are still sides, and they are still horrible.  
  
" We have... Peridot neutralized. But we cannot simply let her stay here, bubbled or not. And, neither can we do that to you. This, Lapis, is not permanent. Your situation. "  
  
That made Lapis look up, when the topic of the conversation finally concerned her. Pearl had a firm tone to her voice, but as she sat down on the mattress with Lapis and Steven, her expression was sympathetic.  
  
" There's something coming. From Homeworld. We have reason to believe it could be another war, to take Earth... Except we do not have an army, so, there wouldn't be a lot of warring before our defeat. "  
  
Pearl tried to keep her eloquent tone, but by the end of her words, she had this worried expression on her face, a sad, hopeless humour to her words. She reached for Steven, her shaking hand only hovering over his own, afraid to touch him and wake him up.  
  
" We must... Prepare. And while you've been mostly neutral to this, merely caught in the engines of a much bigger machine, we need to... "  
  
Lapis frowned, and Pearl kept struggling to find the right words. She was polite, even when kicking someone out of their planet. It didn't make Lapis like her any better, but it was appreciated.  
  
" You may choose to stay, or go. But the real issue is... I don't believe you can afford to be neutral anymore. Take it as... Advice. "  
  
She felt anger starting to bubble at the back of her mind, but instead of snapping at her, she took a deep breath. Was it outraging, that now, they decided to give her advice? Yes. Was it _bad_ advice? That's... Well.  
  
" Homeworld isn't home anymore. Going back may just be worse than staying here. For a while, I thought I could just get lost in space, traveling forever, and no one would ever find me. " She spoke quietly, looking out the window once again. " But I can't do that, either. They would find me. Or I would get lost, alone in space. And... Earth is an ugly planet. Full of people I don't understand, or things I don't know, and the only thing worth protecting is... "  
  
She looked down, to the child with his head on her lap, a warm feeling washing over her heart. Tears tried to surface, but she could hold it back. Pearl was awfully silent, looking down at the boy as well... Before she sighed. A deep sigh, full of... Feelings. Feelings Lapis could not quite name.  
  
“ They were very difficult, the first few years after Rose was gone... " Pearl closed her eyes, with a pained expression. " I had no love for Earth. I protected it, along the others, of course. But my feelings toward this planet were more like those one would have towards someone else's beloved pet. Rose was the reason I was here. She just... She loved Earth. She loved humans. She loved... Everything about this place. I had trouble understanding it. "  
  
Pearl looked up to the portrait of Rose, and there was only silence, for a few minutes. Then, she looked straight at Lapis, and kept going.  
  
" I don't think space is a possibility for any of us anymore, sweet as the dream may be. I'm not quite above the dreaming myself. " She smiled, sadly, at that. " It is difficult to fight where there's nothing meaningful about it to you, I understand. But... Steven loves you. He speaks of you, always. So concerned. " She chuckled. " He thinks maybe his crying cartoons aren't a good influence on you. "  
  
That did bring a smile to Lapis' face.  
  
" So... Let us know when you decide. " 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of the gems gets hurt.

Lapis detested that Peridot was around. For the first few weeks, she was bubbled, and out of sight, so she bothered no one. But every few days, the crystal gems would let her out and try to ask questions, trying to squirm information out of her. It would almost always escalate into a fight, which would result in her being poofed and bubbled again. She ran away once, but was captured a few days after. It took a while before she became less violent and erratic, but eventually, she stopped fighting. She would give up no information, and would flee if given the chance, but there wasn't much fight left in her. Lapis would watch it from a certain distance, usually taking care of Steven while the gems did what they believed had to be done.   
  
Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl seemed to be more forceful in the way they treated Peridot, as time passed. They knew Homeworld had something planned for Earth, and they wanted to find out what that was so they could do something about it, Lapis guessed. She knew Homeworld had plans, of course. But she was not trusted in her home planet - treated like a prisoner. No one told her anything. If she knew, if she had any clue, she would have shared it. For Steven.   
  
Once, when Lapis was returning from a walk at the beach, she saw Peridot in the living room.   
  
She was climbing the steps to the temple when she spotted Peridot inside, making her stop in her tracks. She saw Steven with Amethyst, a little earlier. That left Garnet and Pearl to take care of Peridot. Would they release her with one of them missing, though?   
  
When she walked in, the other two were there, as well. Pearl looked distressed, and Garnet... Lapis didn't quite know how to read Garnet's body language yet. She eyed Peridot, sitting down on the ground, free in every way, nothing restricting her movement. She was about to ask what was going on, when she noticed it. Peridot was staring straight at the ground, and her limbs were limp, like a toy that was turned off. It made Lapis uneasy. The cracked gem on Peridot's forehead was explanation enough, but when Lapis stuttered trying to find words to say what was going on in her mind, Pearl was very quick to explain, sounding somewhat guilty.  
  
" It was an _accident_. Completely avoidable, if only she had not tried to escape... " Pearl sighed, and while she had no real reason to worry about an enemy she felt such hatred towards before, it was very clear she was anxious about it. Lapis assumed she was the one... Partially responsible for this. " We should find Steven... " She told Garnet, among other things Lapis couldn't listen.   
  
Garnet and Pearl left, a few minutes after that, leaving Lapis alone in the house with Peridot and her cracked gem.  
  
At first, Lapis tried to go about things as if that limp mess of a body wasn't in the middle of the living room. She put the seashells she collected in the jar she usually put them in, and watched them slowly sink in the sea water, all the way to the bottom. She smiled to herself, but her little moment of joy didn't last long. She could stare at the jar all she wanted, but in her peripheral vision, that bright green color invaded her peace. Peridot, when quiet, was a thousand times more disturbing than when speaking - or yelling. It was unsettling. Her voice was annoying and intrusive, but still. What was wrong with her? Lapis had seen cracked gems before. She had been a cracked gem before. Then, she was broken and wrong, but she was alive and responding.  
  
Finally, Lapis sighed, frustrated. This would not do.  
  
She walked over to Peridot, pulling her up. She hooked her arms under Peridot's shoulders, and pulled her up with all her strength. Peridot did not respond, her heavy body making Lapis bend forward as she dragged the other gem upstairs. Every step, Peridot's feet would bang against the wood, with a thud. She threw Peridot on Steven's bed, and grimaced at the way her body fell, all awkward and wrong. Lapis sat on the bed, and angrily pulled Peridot's feet, placing and moving her around like a doll on the bed.  
  
By the time she was done, Lapis was breathing a little heavy.  
  
She walked away from the mattress, sending Peridot a look of disdain, just to make clear what page they were (still) on. As she turned her back to the bed, she heard something. A little groan at first, then a string of quiet complaints.  
  
" Ridiculous... Just... Ridiculous... As if... Wasn't bad enough... "   
  
  
Lapis frowned, looking over her shoulder at the gem that seemed to be coming back around to her senses. Yes, it was unsettling to see her so quiet before. Yes, it was... Positive, that she was speaking. Lapis wasn't about to cry of happiness quite yet, though.   
  
" How are you feeling? "   
  
Peridot's eyes shoot wide open, apparently surprised to see Lapis there. Startled to have anyone talking to her, really.   
  
" Feeling? You... traitor! _Twice_! You did it twice! I knew it- "   
  
" How are you feeling? Your gem is cracked. "   
  
Traitor. Yes, yes, so be it. She feels many things about what she did, but ashamed is not one of them.  
  
Peridot frowned, one of her hands reaching for the gem on her forehead, before Lapis stepped forward, raising her hands.  
  
" Don't touch it. Just tell me how you feel. "   
  
Peridot squinted, making this suspicious expression at the other, and sat up abruptly.  
  
" I feel fine. Fine enough to get out of here- "   
  
" Steven is coming to heal you. If you leave, you won't have anyone to fix you. I wouldn't count on Yellow Diamond coming to save you. "   
  
Peridot wouldn't, either. She slowly sunk back to the bed, watching Lapis closely, as if looking for something. She snorted.  
  
" Jasper is looking for you. "   
  
That made Lapis flinch, and Peridot enjoyed it. Yes. That's how she should feel about that piece of information.  
  
" Good. I'm looking for her as well. "

Not really.  
  
They both heard the sound of the door opening, and instead of continuing their little talk, simply stared at each other. Lapis refused to look scared. Refused to sound scared. She was not scared.  
  
Steven came running up the stairs, Garnet right after him. She shot Lapis a strange look from behind those glasses of hers, which was ignored. Steven smiled widely, hands on his hips.   
  
" What do we have here? Fear not, the doctor has arrived! "   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the people still reading thiss  
> please leave a comment if you've got something to say!! preferrably.... something nice haha


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst, Peridot and Lapis have a slumber party.

In her dream, she was deep in the ocean. Where everything is dark blue, so vast and empty, and still so full of life.  
  
  
Lapis loved the water. But instead of it being a pleasant dream, it was horrible. Malachite hated the ocean. And Lapis had a part of Malachite inside her, now. She would never be able to change that.  
  
She woke up, her breath ragged, her body shaking. She could almost feel it now, the pressure... The weight of the whole ocean on her back, crushing her bones.  
  
Steven was right beside her, looking worried. He was the one trying to teach her how to sleep, after all. When she asked him how he could communicate with her when she was trying to keep Jasper in the bottom of the ocean with her, he was suddenly very excited to teach her how to dream. Now, though, he looked a bit sad.  
  
" You don't look like you had a nice dream... "   
  
" It... It was nice. I was in the ocean. I usually like the ocean. Maybe I was a bit nervous. "   
  
Steven sighed, laying down on the bed with her.   
  
" When we go through some bad things when awake, our dreams don't turn out so well. "   
  
He noted quietly, sounding a bit concerned for his friend. Lapis smiled, and shook her head.   
  
" I only tried it once, Steven. I'm sure the second time will be better. Let's do this again tomorrow, alright? "   
  
She didn't want to try it again at all, but with some luck, he would just forget about it. She didn't want to upset the kid with her troubles.  
  
x  
  
  
Peridot gave no reason for anyone to poof her. After she was healed, she behaved strangely. She didn't speak a word, or even move much, though this time it was clear she was awake and aware of her surroundings. Highly aware, Lapis assumed. Since Peridot behaved, she was not put in a bubble. Her situation should not be mistaken with Lapis'-- No one trusted Peridot, but the crystal gems were reminded of their moral code after the accident that caused Peridot's gem to crack.   
  
Lapis thought they should poof and bubble her regardless, since she wouldn't hesitate to kill them were their positions switched. But, when she brought up that point, Steven got upset, and everyone felt tense and guilty about it.   
  
There was always someone watching her. Most of the times, Garnet was there. The gems didn't want Peridot to get out of sight or have the chance to try anything funny, so they didn't tell her to move from Steven's bed, and she stayed there. Steven slept downstairs, with Lion, and Lapis, who watched over him.   
  
Lapis never did sleep, but she usually held Steven while he dreamed. Sometimes he would have nightmares, and she would whisper reassuring words until he calmed down. It wasn't often, but he confessed he dreamed about Malachite sometimes. It was never nice.  
  
In the middle of a particularly hot night, Lapis moved away from him, and stood up. Steven got sweaty sometimes, and while she didn't find it disgusting per se, she thought the heat might make him uncomfortable. She sat on the couch, eyeing the huge pink lion in the middle of the living room. Steven had told her a lot about Lion. It was a very dear friend. How he managed to befriend the animal, though, was a bit of an odd story, to her.  
  
Her thoughts were interrupted by whispers.  
  
She held her breath, for a moment, wondering if she was lucid. You never know if you're dreaming until you wake up, right? Steven told her that. It was very late into the night. Maybe she fell asleep accidentally...  
  
No. If she was dreaming, things would've gone sour a long while ago.  
  
She stood, slowly, from the couch, trying not to make any noise. Was it Peridot? Of course it was Peridot. She thought one of the gems would be up there with her, though... She made her way upstairs, very slowly. She stopped climbing the steps once she could see what was going on up there. It was probably best not to be seen.  
  
Amethyst was on duty. The whispering wasn't very angry, but it wasn't terribly friendly, either. Amethyst had her arms crossed, sitting on one end of the bed, while Peridot had her back to the wall. Both didn't look pleased to be speaking to each other, but still, they were.  
  
" What's the Homeworld like, anyway? All this fuss about it... "   
  
Amethyst's tone would give one the idea she didn't really care about the answer, but her eyes gleamed with curiosity. It would make Lapis smile, before. Now, well. Not so much. Peridot wasn't impressed with the other's attempt to sound uninterested.  
  
" Better than this piece of rock. "   
  
For all the bitterness Peridot exuded, she still kept her voice down. Lapis eyed Steven, downstairs. Still sleeping.  
  
" Yeah, sure. That's why Lapis came back. "   
  
Lapis was suddenly very aware this conversation would not end well.  
  
" That one didn't come back. She was sent back. To help on _our_ mission. You're giving her a lot of credit, when she sold all of you out. "    
  
Amethyst was quiet for a moment. She looked angry, and taken back by what Peridot said. It did make Lapis upset that she would believe it, but then again, Amethyst was too impulsive to know better. She would realize the truth later, and if she didn't, it's not like Lapis was there to gain anyone's approval.   
  
" I don't see her crying for help to get back to your stupid Homeworld. We're not forcing her to stay here. "   
  
" Just like no one is forcing me?! Your friends don't want to be here. They're only here because they'd be killed if they came back. I don't want to be here. Lapis doesn't want to be here. No one wants to be in your pathetic planet! "   
  
The sudden shout made Lapis startle, and she kneeled on the steps, making herself the least noticeable possible. She could see Steven waking up from the corner of her eye.   
  
Peridot stood up suddenly. Lapis didn't think that was a planned escape, but it probably would have worked, if Amethyst was the only one watching. But when Peridot ran towards the stairs, and her foot hovered just above Lapis' head for a minute, she acted fast. Lapis grabbed Peridot's foot, and pulled, as she stood up herself, trying to throw her off balance.   
  
Amethyst, who had been a bit stupefied there for a second, came back to her senses, running over to the two, with a face that made it very clear just how much she wanted to tackle Peridot down and make her taste the dirt of this pathetic planet. And she almost did that, but before she could, Peridot fell to the floor, and kicked one of Lapis' legs, who then gripped desperately for balance, grabbing onto Peridot's leg and clothes. Peridot jerked up to get away from Amethyst who was coming from behind the two, and both tumbled down the stairs, holding onto each other firmly, but still throwing punches and scratching.   
  
Steven was now already on his feet, and was about to try and tear the two apart, but Amethyst got in the way.   
  
" Don't, Steven! Go get the others! "  
  
Peridot landed first, Lapis on top of her, struggling to keep her still more than actively trying to hurt her. Peridot wasn't too ceremonious about getting away in whatever way she could, though. Peridot's cold, heavy metallic fist struck Lapis' cheek, which brought tears to her eyes. Even as they rolled down her cheeks, she shoved her fingers under Peridot's glasses, scratching at her eyes. Peridot yelled painfully, and if Steven had not already gotten the gems by now, they would certainly hear that. The fist that had hit Lapis was again positioned right at her face, and Peridot's fingers moved in a strange way, some sort of energy sphere powering up in the middle of their formation...  
  
Before she could actually shoot, though, two strong hands pulled Lapis up and away from Peridot. Since they were tangled together, Peridot went along for half a second or so, before gravity did it's job and she slammed back down to the floor. Suddenly, Amethyst's whip was all around her, and her eyes hurt like hell, and then Pearl's spear stabbed her, and...   
  
Everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so 
> 
> no pressure as always
> 
> but comments?
> 
> always a slut for comments
> 
> that's me


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis meets Steven's parents.

Peridot knew she would be caught eventually, deep down. She thought, after so many attempts to connect to Homeworld, at least one try would be successful. And it probably was. But the gems caught her before anyone came to 'rescue' her. With a foot missing, of course the clods could catch up. Otherwise, she would've lasted much longer.   
  
But still, she thought a lot about it and... Maybe Homeworld never would send any rescue vessel for her. Maybe for Jasper - but Peridot had made the mistake of mentioning how they had gotten separated in the crash in one of those transmissions. It wasn't a sound investment, to send a ship that maybe would reach one of the three gems sent in that mission. Would Yellow Diamond stand to lose the three of them, all at once?   
  
It's not like they were all that precious. They had ways of manufacturing intel and muscles. And Lapis, she never gave them a lot of useful information.   
  
The crystal gems poofed her as soon as they had a chance. She had less mobility, and the 'battle' didn't last long. Before she could come back, she was put in a bubble. It forced her to stay inside her gem, even after she was ready to come back.   
  
And that lasted some time.  
  
Of course, she would find a way to run away from their grasp if she had her body, and the chance, but it didn't stop her from hating them for keeping her like this. She counted the time as it passed. Every second. This way, she cold keep record of something, and not get lost in her own mind. After a few days, she was released, and questioned. She refused to give them anything of importance, and eventually tried to break free, which led to a fight, and she was poofed and bubbled again.   
  
And that happened a few more times.   
  
x  
  
  
Things were a little tense after Peridot's last attempt at running away.  
  
Lapis seemed irritable. She was still nice to Steven, but when the gems tried to talk to her, she was more annoyed, and less apathetic. How dare Peridot speak of Lapis as if she knew anything, who did she think she was to even touch her.   
  
But as her swollen face was healed by Steven, and the days passed, so did her rage. She was still annoyed Peridot was around, but she wouldn't be able to do anything about it. There's no point in being angry about things you can't fix.   
  
Between the gems that had taken her back to Earth, Peridot was the one she always found it easier to be annoyed by. Mostly because the other one was huge, and loud, and intimidating, and annoyance was not quite the word to name what Lapis felt whenever Jasper was around. But Peridot also had credit for her own insufferable personality.  
  
Lapis felt like she couldn't have a single moment of peace.  
  
That morning, Steven had taken her by the hand, and was determined to bring her over to his dad's van, where they would 'hang out', so his father would see how she's actually very nice. Lapis didn't feel inclined to socialize with the gems, so much less other humans, but she went along, anyway.   
  
It was never easy to say no to Steven, but on top of that, she just needed to get out of that house. Get away from those people. Amethyst probably thought badly of her now. Garnet never warmed up to her in the first place, and Pearl... Who knew what Pearl thought of Lapis. Sometimes she seemed to dislike her, sometimes... Not? And, of course. Peridot was still there, somewhere, in a bubble. Maybe meeting Steven's father would turn out to be nice. A refreshment.  
  
They got there pretty quickly. It was a small town. Steven looked very excited, as he ran ahead to meet up with his father, who was sitting on a beach chair, a musical instrument of sorts in his hands. Lapis hesitated to walk up to the two, but it wasn't like she could just leave him now. Steven was probably looking forward to this for a while. What wouldn't she do for that boy?  
  
" Dad, this is Lapis. She's my friend, remember? "  
  
Greg did remember, and as he realized who was the ( alien ) girl standing there awkwardly, his face may have gotten a little pallid.  
  
" Oh, yes. Yes, it's your friend from when... The ocean disappeared. Lapis Lazuli, right? I'm Greg. Nice to see you back around! "   
  
The man sounded just as awkward she felt, which was a relief. He was polite, and tried to be nice. Better than what she had seen from most gems, really.  
  
" I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to cause any trouble. "   
  
She pointed out very quickly, though, to be completely honest, she didn't think or care a lot about how the humans would deal with the ocean disappearing, back then.   
  
" Yes, the little man here explained to me your situation. It's in the past now, so don't worry. We wrote a great song about it! Do you want to play it for her, Steven? "   
  
And so he does. Greg sits up from the chair, and insists that she sits back and enjoy the show. There's a little messing around with some cables, and then Steven pulls out a guitar that fits his size. He breathes in, blushes a little, and plays the song he wrote about her.  
  
It's a song about what she had gone through, and how they became friends by the end. It makes her a bit emotional, but she only smiles, feeling like tearing up near Steven's dad is something she can definitely skip in her life.  
  
They spent the rest of the day coming up with songs about other things, and she watches Steven and his dad perform the lyrics she helped them write, sometimes joining in the singing, or clapping along the rhythm. By the evening, she didn't feel so awkward anymore, and Greg didn't think it was so strange that she was there either. It was certainly a happy day for Steven. On their way back to the temple, Steven makes them stop at the Big Donut so Lapis could try a donut, and she actually likes it. So they walked back with two bags full of donuts. One bag for the two, and the other one for Amethyst.   
  
  
" It's pretty cool that we get to hang out like this. You, me, dad... "   
  
Steven mused, looking away. Lapis had the impression he had something to say beyond that.  
  
" It is, isn't it. I think I really needed this today. "   
  
To have fun and try not to think of all the things that happened to her lately, that is. Steven looked up at her, taking one of her hands in his own.  
  
" Hey, Lapis... Did you ever meet mom? "   
  
" Your mother. Rose Quartz? "   
  
" Yes. "   
  
" ... I never met her, not really. I only saw her, from far away, during the war. Do you know what she was like? "  
  
She squeezed his hand, smiling. Lapis didn't understand very well how families worked, human families, that is. But Steven's voice was heavy with emotion. And she knew what he was talking about was important to him. She didn't need to understand it, but she's sure he wouldn't mind explaining.  
  
" A little. If you want to meet her, I could show you something. "   
  
When they get home, Steven hurries up to his room, and Lapis follows, noticing that there was no sign of the gems. She sits down with him at the bed, as he pulls something out of Lion's mane. He inserts it into something plugged into his television, and there is some static. He jumps up to the bed, sits very close to Lapis, and holds her hand as some images of Greg show up in the TV. A strange, soft voice speaks briefly, and she can feel Steven's pulse quicken a little, his hand getting sweaty.   
  
When Rose actually appears in the screen, Lapis knows it's her, even if she had only seen her briefly before. She didn't expect her to look so much like the painting they had of her. So big, and pretty. When she spoke about how beautiful Earth was, Lapis could see it. The beauty. The life. Her memories of Earth suddenly held a different meaning. There was something about Rose's voice. Lapis could understand why so many followed her. And when she spoke of Steven...   
  
Lapis looked down at the boy, who had his eyes glued to the screen. He certainly had watched this many times before. She eyed his belly, where his gem would be. How did he feel before he watched this? How did he feel _after_ he watched it? Did he ever feel like it's his fault? The crystal gems would die for Rose Quartz. Instead, Rose Quartz died for Steven.   
  
Before she could notice, there was some more static, and the message was over. The soothing presence in the room was gone. There was only Lapis, and Steven, and Lion. They were in the dark again. She was still looking at Steven. He looked up at her as well, tears in his eyes. One of them rolled down his cheek, and she wiped it off gently with her thumb. She leaned over, and planted a kiss on his forehead.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys are too nice o(--


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis goes out to pick seashells.

Whether Lapis liked it or not, Peridot gained Steven's trust. It would be no surprise to see Steven giving an enemy a chance, he was sweet and trusting like that. How he managed to do that when the enemy was so incredibly annoying, she had no idea. He was the kind of good person no one wanted to be. If there was a lesson Lapis learned quick, is that people let you down no matter who they are. She wasn't sure about humans, but gems had a tremendous talent for that. As noble as it was that Steven had such a good heart, it meant he'd go through much heartbreak during life. 

 

Peridot was allowed more and more time out of the bubble whenever Steven was around. He insisted to try talking things out, and even if Peridot was unwilling to do that, she ended up engaging regardless, which built some sort of foundation for trust. After a while, Steven was bringing up the "sweet" side of Peridot, and how we could try just restraining her and leaving her unbubbled, that she behaved better now... Lapis knew that was all acting, of course, but it was surprisingly hard to let Steven know that. 

 

What really surprised her is that, one day, Garnet agreed to that. 

 

Garnet was affectionately called "perma-fusion" by Peridot, who clearly had no love for her own well being, and no common sense whatsoever. In Lapis' own opinion, Garnet was distant, mystifying and generally just made her feel tense. She was however, the voice of reason, and the crystal gems were eager to follow her lead. That made it so Lapis didn't have much space to object when she announced that they would let Peridot roam around the house freely that day.

 

" Why would you do that? " 

 

Lapis asked quietly, approaching Garnet after the announcement. Everyone else in the room didn't protest - in fact, they looked a little guilty. It all felt like some inside joke she didn't get, and at this point, she was fed up with those. 

 

Garnet nodded towards the bathroom door, and Steven hurried over to open it. Lapis had her answer once Peridot came out, looking like a child who had just been scolded. It took more than a few seconds for Lapis to realize that those mechanical extensions from before were, obviously, detachable. And now, they were detached. 

 

" She looks ridiculous. " 

 

She noted dully, not loud enough for Peridot to hear. Garnet shrugged, and readjusted her glasses before turning to declare the household rules.

 

" Peridot. You will not leave the temple- " 

 

" I'll do whatever I want, _Clod_ \- " 

 

" -or destroy any of it. " Steven cleared his throat, which prompted Garnet to go on. " Not on purpose, at least. You're on watch, Steven. " 

 

Lapis watched the casual settling of very important security matters, feeling slightly frustrated at how they weren't taking any of it serious. 

 

But then she remembered none of it really mattered that much. Any day now, Homeworld could launch an attack on Earth and end it all. She glanced over at Steven's proud face as he had some sort of exchange with Peridot, and sighed.

 

Peridot would have the temple all for herself today, and she doubted the other gems would stay in the common area. No one was eager to share the experience Steven would have watching over her all day. Before leaving, Lapis asked Steven if it was alright to leave him alone with Peridot.

 

" Don't worry! We can communicate. Sort of. " 

 

" I'll be down by the beach, if you need me. " She looked up from their conversation, sending a glare to the spot on the couch Peridot was sulking in. " I just need to be away from her. " 

 

" I understand. " 

 

The sad look in his eyes disagreed. 

 

When she went down to the beach, the weather looked ugly and depressing. She didn't let it phase her at all, and walked up to the sea, to pick seashells like she usually did. The only difference was that, today, the sea didn't feel very friendly. Every time she tried to pick up a shell, a wave would break as if by magic, and quickly snag it away. The wind howling, the splashing of water, the sound the water made once it receded after a wave. Those sounds filled her mind, and like a song therapists would play during a hypnosis section, they sent her into a daze.

 

When she thought of herself, tiny Lapis Lazuli, next to that enormous monster that was the sea, she froze. It sounded so angry now. It wasn't the sort of fear that sends you running away - just the sort that keeps you up at night. She didn't think the sea would send a really big wave to snatch her up and drown her. That's the sort of illogical fear she'd never have. What she did think, however, was that bad things happened in the bottom of the ocean. And once she was in there, no one could hear her scream. She managed to escape, but it was only because of external factors. Luck, even. Those were scary truths to know, and it made her uneasy to be so close to it after fighting so much to get out.

 

When she saw Jasper's figure slowly rise from the water, she was almost certain that it was some sort of hallucination. But when she spoke, it was clear she was real. Even if one else was there to see it.

 

" Lapis... " 

 

Lapis stepped back, with a knot the size of a quartz soldier's fist in her throat. 

 

" I've been looking for you. So you _did_ join them. " 

 

" Why... ? " 

 

Jasper closed the distance between them with steps that looked more like leaps, and fell to her knees in front of her.

 

" Fuse with me. "

 

" What? No! "

 

When Jasper reached for Lapis' hand, she was quick to slap it away.

 

" Stop it! How can you say that? I know I hurt you. " 

 

Jasper's expression was, somehow, the perfect mix of hopeful and hopeless. She seemed to struggle to even find the words to say whatever she had to say, but she strongly believed she was right. 

 

" And I hurt you, too. But I changed- We changed. We can do better next time- it'll hurt less. With time, no one will be able to beat us- " 

 

" It's not supposed to hurt at all! " She yelled at Jasper's face, angrily stepping away from her, and dropping whatever little seashells she had managed to collect. " I don't want to fight anyone. I don't want to fuse with anyone. And I certainly don't want to be around you- " 

 

Those were all facts. It wasn't news that Jasper was coercive, aggressive and unlikable. It wasn't news that Lapis was seen as meek, useless and irrelevant to someone like Jasper. They were both aware that fusion was a chance for Lapis to make Jasper suffer where in other circumstances she wouldn't be able to, as they were aware that Jasper only ever saw worth in Lapis after they fused, and only because she was strong. 

 

And yet, when faced with the rejection, Jasper seemed hurt. For half a second, her face scrunched up in disbelief. It wasn't a face that could be called scary. But it certainly would make anyone uneasy. She stood, admitting her failure as she as well stepped back, towards the ocean.

 

" I guess they got in your head, too. Let me guess- was it Rose who convinced you to stay here? " 

 

" That's really none of your business. His name is Steven. " 

 

" They'll say things you want to hear, you know. They'll make things seem different than they are. In the end, here you're scared and defenseless, and with me, we were powerful and free. We could fly- " 

 

" I can fly. And I'm safe here. Just _go_! "

 

One of those things wasn't quite truth, but she was proud of how she sounded confident in what she was saying. Behind Jasper, the sea sounded angry.

 

" What makes you think I'll leave without getting what I want? " 

 

Threats rolled off her tongue very easily, Lapis knew that. A lot of times, it was more out of habit than any real intention to follow through with it. For all Jasper knew, the whole crystal gem squad could be back there waiting. And maybe they weren't sitting and waiting while playing Scrabble, but they certainly were in the temple and could help if Lapis made enough noise. 

 

" Just go. " 

 

 

 

After, when she got back to the house, she faced a very odd situation. They were all sitting around the table playing some sort of board game. While Peridot seemed to be participating, getting turns and sometimes scoring points, she had some sort of cable restraining her arms and tying her to a chair with heavy sacks of flour on top. Garnet, Pearl, Amethyst and Steven looked comfortable with the situation, so Lapis just walked past them and sat in a corner of the couch. 

 

" Care for a game? " 

 

Garnet offered, a friendly tone to her voice that Lapis had not yet heard from her.

 

" I'll watch for now. Maybe later. " 

 

She replied, pulling her knees up and scooting closer to them. It seemed to be good enough of a peace offering, because Garnet smiled and turned back to the game once it was her turn.

 

There wasn't at moment where it seemed appropriate to bring up what happened with Jasper. Now that the matter was apparently settled, was there really point to report it? She could be just getting too domesticated. She didn't owe anything to them. And she didn't even like to think about it. Speaking about it with those people sounded physically uncomfortable. 

 

 

But maybe she could do it, if only she could talk to Steven in private. 

 

 

Steven didn't win the game, in an unexpected turn of events that put Amethyst on top on the score board. She was very enthusiastic about celebrating her victory. Meanwhile, the crowd dispersed. But before everyone left, they all looked back, staring at the gem tied to a chair in the middle of the living room. Peridot didn't do anything to earn a poofing- and it felt cruel to do that for no reason just because no one felt like watching her. 

 

Still, the memory of Jasper telling her that she was another one who the crystal gems had changed, made her ponder. Did she think Peridot had befriended these gems? Or did Peridot meet with Jasper after being captured? 

 

The latter made her guess just how closely they were really watching over Peridot.

 

" I can do it. " Lapis offered, standing from the couch. " I can watch her. " 

 

Garnet walked away straight away, Amethyst didn't care much for the news to have any commentary, and Pearl frowned. They all were somewhat surprised, but the other two looked much more at ease with the arrangement. 

 

Steven perked up. 

 

" Alright! I'll stay up with you until I'm tired. " 

 

Three was a crowd, but Peridot shouldn't be much intrusion. Lapis doubted Peridot would be interested in saying anything during that conversation, mostly because their conversation seemed to rotate around Jasper and Lapis' fusion, instead of any subject related to Homeworld. 

 

And she was right, except that, instead of interrupting, Peridot stared intently, wide-eyed and dead silent.

 

" So... She came after you? " 

 

Steven whispered, even though the other gems were nowhere to be seen. It broke her heart to see just how distraught he was knowing that bit of information.

 

" That's what she said. " 

 

She shrugged, hands in her lap. Peridot scoffed, and both sent her an displeased glare.

 

" She obviously wants your help against those clods. She wants to be that freak with you to be strong enough against the three of them. " 

 

" She won't have my help. " 

 

Steven felt a little warm in heart with the fact Peridot didn't call him a clod, but also slightly annoyed that he wasn't counted in with the gems. He didn't say anything, though. Too lost in thought. Peridot also fell silent, seemingly analyzing the situation herself, as well. 

 

 " Anyway. I just thought I should tell someone. You'll tell the other gems about it? " 

 

" I think they should know... We didn't know Jasper could just show up at any time from the sea like that. " 

 

" Yes, yes. " 

 

Peridot sighed, resting her chin on her knees. 

 

" Jasper is a really big figure back in Homeworld. They will send people after her. " 

 

It didn't sound like one of these things Peridot used to say just to make them feel threatened by Homeworld. In fact, it sounded more like an annoyed complaint.

 

" They'll just come to take her away. " 

 

" Well. Yes. " 

 

There seemed to be a story behind that quick answer, but Peridot shut up right after that and didn't say another word for the rest of the night, so that was that.

 

Steven put his head on her lap when he started to feel sleepy, and they stayed up only a little more before he started to phase in and out of sleep, now and then yawning and murmuring something.

 

" Lapis... " 

 

She looked down, blinking surprisedly as she realized he was awake enough to talk to her.

 

" Yes, Steven? " 

 

" We'll protect you, you know. Jasper won't do anything to you. We're all happy you're here. " 

 

He seemed so serious, sometimes. She never thought she'd take a small, young human like that seriously, but there she was, listening to him like one listens to the sound of reason.

 

" Thank you, Steven. " 

 

She couldn't say she was happy to be there exactly, or that she was able to protect anyone, even herself. But she was thankful for everything Steven had showed and done for her. And even thankful for experiences they all shared together. She didn't act naturally around other gems in a while, and sometimes, she felt something very close to that on Earth. It wasn't easy to block out the incoming menace, or the ghosts that still haunted her, or the lack of will she faced every day to do most things. But she was managing, her own way, and it surprised even her.

 

When Steven fell asleep, Peridot and Lapis played a game of staring at each other engulfed in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes, until both occupied their minds with something else. They both did their own things - Lapis watched the stars from the window and tried to count them in her head, while Peridot scratched the floor to try and carve some sort of message into the boards. Still, the sound coming from outside, of waves crashing ever so close to the steps leading up to the door, made them both uneasy.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a while... haha... ha....... :') o well im here do y'all still like the story-  
> to the new readers: I should put it up somewhere, but I started writting this story before Peridot and Lapis joined the crystal gems in canon. So uh. This doesn't follow canon at all. It's all in my cray head


End file.
